Oops! Sorry Vinny, I didn’t mean it.

If there are any Ranger players reading this (yeah right), stop right now.  I can’t afford to say anything that might cause you to stop hitting, or pitching, or fielding.  Lord knows you’re already doing it badly enough.

First I cursed Michael Young on Opening Day, and he proceeded to go 0 for a week. Then, just two days ago, I praised Padilla, and said I hoped I wasn’t jinxing him. Sure enough, he went out and had an abysmal performance against the Tigers (who, despite a slow start, will be there or thereabouts at the end).

The collapse of the Rangers continues. Ron “Mr Fundamentals” Washington clearly has no idea what he is doing. Someone asked me the other day if he was asleep during the games, because he doesn’t appear to have any idea what’s going on, let alone show any kind of emotion. I’m not a big Mike Scioscia fan, mainly because his team usually beats us, but I’d sure rather have a guy who cares, not someone who looks like he should be in his rocking chair in the retirement home, telling us about how players in the old days were so much better, that they could run and steal and bunt and forget all this newfangled nonsense about getting on base, or maximizing your roster to it’s full potential.

We were leading I think 3-1 against Boston the other day (I’m pretty sure it was a 2 run lead), in the middle innings, we get the first man on, and Washington calls for a bunt. Because, you know, against some useless team like Boston, bunting the man over so someone can drive him in (or not, in the Rangers’ case) gives us that extra run, and that will make all the difference. Washington, you’re an idiot. You know what the Red Sox can do (you certainly do now). This is the American League. You don’t play for one run, you play for five or six. Remember the saying, don’t kick a man when he’s down? Doesn’t apply to baseball! Not only should you kick him, you should beat him with your bat.  Because if you don’t, he will.

The Rangers led 5-0 in the middle of the 7th on Sunday.  Win expectancy for the Red Sox is 0.039, which surprisingly enough is about 1 in 25.  I would have expected it to be much lower than that.  On the other hand, that means the Rangers should have won that game 24 out of 25 times.  I was astounded when Millwood came out for the 7th inning – I had seen his pitch count at the end of the previous inning (104 I believe) and said “okay, he’s done for the day”.  When I saw him come back, it was like “uh-oh, nothing good can come of this”.  If I can think that, what on earth were Washington and Connor thinking?  104 isn’t too many, they might have hoped to get another inning from him, but he hadn’t really been great anyway, he’d given up 8 hits and 2 walks in 6 innings.  Of course, with the bullpen collapsing, what else can you do?

Think Washington will be fired before the end of the year? I do. Those geniuses in the front office gave him a one year extension last year, through 2009. Which means when he’s fired in June or July, and Art Howe gets the job, we’ll be paying him an extra year of salary for nothing.

Not that Tom Hicks really cares right now – he’s too busy trying to save his skin in England, where the fans hate him so much the police told him he should not go to a Liverpool soccer match. We may think he sucks, but at least we wouldn’t try and kill him. Unless, that is, he tries waving his scarf and singing along with the fans.

Yes, the Boston massacre was embarrassing, and humiliating.  A coworker came into my office this morning and said “well…”, and before he could go any further I said “think they’ll manage 50 wins this year?”, and he laughed and left.  Believe me, there is no taunting that can make a die-hard Ranger fan feel worse about the team.

On Opening Day I commented about Ben Broussard being lackadaisacal in the field, comparing him to the all-out effort that Teixeira would give. Broussard’s lack of attention cost us dearly against Boston on the weekend, as he sauntered away after thinking he had made the play at first, totally ignoring the guy who kept on running and scored the go-ahead run. You know Tex would have been watching for anything like that. It’s not just his bat we’re missing.

In the Star-Telegram today there was a line from Washington about how he and Jon Daniels had talked and agreed to get Jason Botts more playing time.  My guess is that JD did all the talking in that conversation.  There was also a “kick the tires” comment on Frank Thomas.  Yeah, that’s what we need, a 40 year old washed up first baseman.  We already have a 30 year old.  Maybe we can get Bonds, too, then we can block two future players at the same time.

Loved seeing Pudge catch that foul popup, then smile at the cameras. Wish he was still doing it for us.

I forgot to save the link, but sometime in the last week or so someone wrote that Trey Hillman is outstanding at getting the young guys to improve their game.  What could have been, huh?

The Rangers are leading their opponents in something:  they’re ahead about 25-9 (I forget the exact number, and I’m not going to look it up) in errors committed.  Fundamentals.

Here’s a thought: You know those $10 Fox Box tickets? They’re $12 this year, with a $2 donation to the Boys and Girls Club. I’m all for the B&G Club (except for having A-Rod as a spokesman), but I’m really opposed to this kind of forced donation. I have charities I donate to (this is my favorite) already.  Having some multi-millionaires try and make me give money somewhere is ridiculous.  Make the tickets $12, and if the Rangers want to donate some money, do so.  Funnily enough I was just watching Bono on tv last night, talking about charity.  He said (and I paraphrase) that if it’s done publicly, it’s not charity, it’s PR.  In this case, it’s definitely PR.  There was a quote in the paper a few weeks ago about how the team has lost the fans (or rather, the franchise has lost the fans, it’s not so much to do with the team itself), and they’re trying anything to get them back.  Ironic that their new neighbors are going to charge tens of thousands for a seat license – and sell out.

Jeez, do I sound like Larry King, starting a paragraph off with “here’s a thought”?

Okay, two last lines:

John Danks: 2-1, 3.04 ERA.  17 hits (0 HR), 16 K in 23.2 innings.

Edinson Volquez:  2-0. 1.17 ERA.  12 hits (0 HR), 16 K in 15.1 innings.

And one last comment:  that’s 40% of our 2010 rotation.  Maybe, just maybe, the Chris Young/Adrian Gonzalez deal isn’t going to go down as Jon Daniels’ epitaph after all.

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